By Michael Lang

The Vidette

If you are a victim of sexual assault, you are not alone.

In Grays Harbor County, Beyond Survival operates a 24-hour crisis help line (360-533-9751), provides victim advocacy and helps facilitate supportive meetings. They also can be reached online at facebook.com/GHBeyondSurvival.

Sexual assault support centers across the country have reported recent increases in calls to sexual assault survivor assistance lines.

Two events last week likely contributed to the increase in calls for aid: Tuesday’s sentencing of Bill Cosby to three to 10 years in prison on sexual assault charges and Thursday’s U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee hearings on the nomination of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court.

For survivors of sexual assault, the two very high-profile events could have triggered memories and emotions.

When I asked Maddie Graves-Wilson, the director of Beyond Survival, what she would like to tell victims of sexual assault in Grays Harbor County, she said:

“Let people know it’s not their fault. Let people know that men and boys are impacted at a pretty high rate, too. This is not a women’s issue; this is a humanity issue.”

Graves-Wilson said the increase nationally in calls to crisis help lines didn’t manifest itself in Grays Harbor County.

“Nationally, there has been a huge influx of calls. I think it went up 201 percent nationally, but not in the county,” she said. “In our county, we have had a lot of crisis calls lately (not related to sexual assault). We did have some calls related to the hearing, people feeling triggered by it. But our call volume stays pretty consistent.”

But that doesn’t mean that people in the Harbor aren’t struggling.

“Something that is extreme trauma for one person might be a drop in the bucket for another person,” she said. “But trauma is trauma and it needs to be acknowledged despite how some people judge the severity of it.”

An example from my past is about five years ago, my mother reminded me of when I “saved her” from the flat tire she got while driving to a test at her college. It was relatively meaningless to me, in high school at the time. So I forgot it. But to her, it could have impacted her career plans. So she remembered.

Chief Susan Shultz of the Elma Police Department says law enforcement officers across the county rely on sexual assault advocates, such as those from Beyond Survival, to help victims.

“It’s important for victims to feel safe when reporting a sexual assault,” Shultz said. “They have the right to have a sexual assault advocate present while they are reporting to law enforcement.”

While victims are often reluctant to come forward, there are several important steps that can be taken that Shultz says could assist down the line.

Seek medical attention, such as from a sexual assault nurse examiner, who is specially trained in the collection of evidence and treatment of sexual assault victims.

Do not bathe, shower or brush your teeth, etc., prior to being seen by medical staff.

Remember that victims can report to law enforcement when they are ready and comfortable doing so.

The advocates at Beyond Survival are happy to talk with survivors without reporting to law enforcement.

“What I would like to see, as the director of an agency like this, is for women and men, all people — whether it be a relative or a care-giver or a loved one that has been affected by sexual violence — to come forward with their own stories of how this has impacted their lives, for better and for worse and to find unity, because there are so many of us,” Graves-Wilson said. “It’s such an isolating experience because you’re very much likely to internalize things after abuse or violence happens. And we tend to blame ourselves. And I think there’s so much power from people coming forward and being able to say, ‘This happened to me but it doesn’t define me.’ ”

“It’s so devastating when people don’t come forward because they think people won’t believe them or that it’s not their right.”