July 30, 2009

Let me tell you, sometimes (not always) it pays to force your husband to give you what you want.
 
For instance, this is a big anniversary year for us. I like to call it our “10th of Everything” celebration, since I’m regularly saying things like, “Honey, just think: We’ve been fighting over the remote for 10 years!” and “Wow, you’ve been stepping over the kitchen trash bag on your way to work for an entire decade; how special.”

So I asked him this week if he’d please try to come up with a few reasons why he picked me for his wife.
 
“Well, you’re pretty and fun,” he says.

“No, not those. There are a million girls who are pretty and fun; what is it about me that makes you want to come home every night?”

“Well…”

“Not that. Substance, please. All I ask is that you try to think of a few things throughout the day today, then tell me tonight over dinner what you come up with.”

Sadly, “tonight” never happened. He had to work until the wee hours of the morning, and the hour we did spend together was too jammed with logistical nightmares (i.e. children) to count as quality anything. So this morning I woke up and turned over to face him.

“So, I guess you never came up with anything, did you?” I asked in my nicest I’m-totally-disappointed-and-a-little-heartbroken voice.

“Huh?” he said sleepily.

“You know, the reasons why you picked me.”

“Oh!” He was suddenly wide awake. “My 10 things!” 10? He came up with 10? “Just a second, I printed them off.” Printed them off???

My apparently wonderful man ran to his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He then went on to read off 10 fantastic, sincere, non-bedroom related reasons why I am the girl of his dreams. He listed everything from my fine cooking skills to my good hygiene.

I will admit, I had no idea if he’d actually cooperate, and if he did, just what he’d come up with. I certainly didn’t know he was such a fan of my shower gel.

Sometimes I think our men would be happy to give us the kudos we need, if we only give them the right kind of nudge (nudge, not nag). If I had never asked, he would have never stopped to remember that he’s the luckiest man in the world.

The reason we celebrate anniversaries is to remember. Remember why we fell in love. Remember why you wear that ring. Remember why we signed up for this mortgage and car payment and all these stinky diapers. Remember that in the end, when everyone’s grown and you’re finally ready to access that 401K, the person you’ve got is the person you picked, and you picked him or her for a reason.
 
Because in the end, if you don’t remind each other, no one else will.

See more at Annie's blog at regardingannie.com